Empathy: Walking in Each Other's Shoes

"He walks where I walk..."

When Jesus saw how sorrowful Martha and Mary were at the death of their brother Lazarus, He was moved to tears - “Jesus wept”. This is just one instance where Jesus showed that he could feel what other people felt.

Empathy means you enter the feelings of another person: not simply feeling concern or sorrow for someone else or understanding their thinking (cognitive), but actually feeling what they feel (affective). It’s putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. Empathy fosters deep emotional connection. Connection enhances understanding. Understanding leads to a feeling of solidarity. Solidarity encourages taking action to help the other person – to work for the good of the other. With empathy, you are moved to act.

But how do you build empathy?

First, be more mindful of your own emotions – this will help you to be aware of other people’s feelings. (How are you feeling right now? How do you the person closest to you is feeling?)

Ask your family members, friends, and co-workers about their experiences and points of view.  This will build your mental muscle to see things from other people’s perspective.

Listen actively, with your full attention. Pay attention to people’s words, the way they speak, their faces and stances. This can lead you to deeper insights about their feelings.

Be aware of your biases and assumptions. Because of our experience with them, we tend to typecast people – this one is a doer, this one talks without choosing her words, this one does this and that. Set aside those assumptions and be open to seeing people in a new light.

Jesus’ life on earth is the clearest expression of empathy: divinity took the form of human flesh to enter fully into human experience. By being fully human – by feeling grief, rejection, pain, temptation, hunger, etc - Jesus became our High Priest who can sympathize with our weaknesses (Hebrews 4:15).

Since Jesus is our model, let’s learn to understand, share, and respond to each other’s feelings and thoughts – with compassion, kindness, and humanity.