Partnership for Healing and Parenting

How do you seek the good of others? Dr Ianne Ramos-Canizares and her husband Henry are medical doctors and have a son. She describes how partnerships are essential to seeking the good of others in their work as doctors – and as parents.  

3 AM. The Emergency Room resident physician calls. Another admission. My husband and I make ourselves available 24/7 for patients. This is the backdrop against which I must choose healing, not just practice it.

Seeking the good of others starts with a pause - "Lord, tabang." Before I enter a room, I breathe and remind myself: I am not at the center of this story, the patient is. The passive "ang Ginoo ra'y bahala nako" patient – he isn't lazy, he’s overwhelmed. The non-compliant patient – he isn't a failure, maybe he just doesn't have enough funds for maintenance medicine. The emotional "Dr. Google" patient – he is not my adversary — he’s terrified and seeking answers.

My most vital tool is compassionate curiosity. I ask, "Help me understand what's making this hard?" Then I look them in the eye: "You are brave. But healing isn't solo—it's a partnership for healing. Between you, me, our nursing team, your family. Tinabangay ta."

Yet partnership has boundaries. I cannot provide everything—endless tests, futile interventions, my entire emotional reserves. Sometimes I have to say “no”, and when I do so, it’s about integrity, not cruelty.

The hardest truth? I give my patients more time than my own son. This sits heavy with us. So, we found a way to spend more time with him — he joins us in the car during hospital rounds, doing his homework or playing games between patient visits. It's not perfect, but it's us, it's our partnership for parenting. He sees his mom and dad heal other people, and we see him grow. I debrief with colleagues, take mini dates with my husband, and shift focus to "mommy mode."

A burnt-out healer heals no one. This life is still blessed. I've prayed for the opportunity to become a competent and compassionate doctor. Now it's here - it's exhausting, messy, complicated—but blessed. I have no complaints. I give my best within my limits. That is enough. That is peace.

Dr Ianne Jireh N. Ramoz-Canizares is a Diplomate and Fellow in Internal Medicine. She can be reached at 0917-7926457 or iann3jireh2012@gmail.com. Dr Henry G. Canizares is a Diplomate and Fellow in Internal Medicine and in Nuclear Medicine. His mobile is 0917-1199733, his email is canizares071684@gmail.com.